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Monday, October 26, 2009

I Used to Love H.E.R

I’ll always be my biggest critique, and I’ve set the bar much higher than what would satisfy the public, with the work I put out. So no matter one stage I’m in at this adventure, I’m already focusing on the next 5 steps. Quite the recipe for a burnout, but what has become is even worse is my disconnection to my love of hip hop. Any writer working on his project is probably making efforts to avoid other projects, for fear of subliminal influences, and general frustrations to others positions in the industry.

I’m finding it harder to enjoy new music, not because it sucks (though some of it does), but more so that it evokes my work side emotions. I catch myself saying “Well that MuthF$&% doesn’t have to work two jobs.. he had 3 weeks to write that 1 minutes verse” or “Why the F#%$ you listening to this right now? get back to work”.

All my hip hop collection is sitting in a broken Hard Disk on my dresser, maybe irretrievable… that same content is what got me doing what I’m doing. As talented as the new artists are, I’m finding it difficult to get inspired by them, probably cause my big ego not letting me admire a kid 5 years younger working 5 years ahead of me.

We all (including myself) just need to remember there will always be those better, worse, and comparable, and just to put out content that supersedes the last effort. For me personally, I have to remind myself that I can’t keep wanting more, when I can barely handle what I’ve got, I really shouldn’t be complaining.

This is the last verse I recorded, it’s the new bar for me, and I’ve written since then, but haven’t bee on the mic or completed something I can throw out just yet. Let me finish my to-do list and I promise to throw out some new stuff for the supporters.

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